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To improve the efficacy of airport security screenings (so, uh, they work) officials are calling for the installation of the newest (and most expensive) high-tech scanners which see through clothing and create detailed images of naked passengers.
Despite ACLU protests that this will inconvenience terrorists and violate the privacy rights of the ugliest and lumpiest liberals, we support the use of the scanners. Although in some extraordinary cases, we sort of see their point...
Beloved journalist Helen Thomas
volunteers to try new scanner technology.
ACLU quickly files multiple lawsuits, screams, and rubs sand in its eyes.
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