Bullseye

As leftwing media still struggles mightily to connect Jared Lee Loughner with Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh (all of whom, suspiciously, have vowels in their name), the Democrats are preparing to introduce a bill which would turn Loughner's paranoid, schizophrenic obsession into law.

Representative Robert Brady, who (unless he's really selfish) will call his legislation the "Brady/Loughner Bill," hopes to pass a federal law that would make it a "crime to use language or symbols which could be perceived as threatening" to federal officials or members of congress. Although it would presumably still be okay for politicians to threaten ordinary citizens, such as when Barack Obama tells supporters to "get in the faces" of his opponents, or "bring a gun to a knife fight."

As examples of the Brady/Loughner Bill, it would be a federal crime to put crosshairs or bullseyes into any political ad or commentary. Candidates could no longer be described as "targeted" or "vulnerable." Opponents would no longer be said to "beat" each other, nor could hopeful candidates "have a shot" at winning an election.

Presumably, constituents will no longer be able to painfully "poke" their elected representatives on Facebook, nor send letters which might inflict dangerous paper cuts. Email, which could cause eyestrain, will be abolished. And when you think of the dangerous stress levels that candidates could suffer from losing an election...well, we'll have to put a stop to that, too.

Certainly all political opinions expressed on radio, television, print or the Internet are potentially capable of creating agitation in the unstable (whom Democrats seem to feel make up a dangerous percentage of Americans), so all such expression of opinion will be outlawed.

And then, when all of the words and thoughts are controlled...nothing like the Tucson shootings can ever happen again.

Unless they're committed by someone insane.

Again.

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Loughner's final victim. Police believe he had accomplices.

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