As mother-of-the-year Hillary Clinton once reminded us, "It Takes a Village" to raise a child. Or for that matter, to satisfy a horndog husband who never met a knothole he didn't consider buying a drink for.
But raising a child is one thing...and raising Barack Obama's disastrous approval ratings is quite another. Which is why it's not going to take a village, but a bunch of village idiots - two million of them, in fact!
That's the number of people that the Obama Reelection Campaign is pressing into service to serve on the newly-announced "Truth Teams," which will be dispatched to politically vulnerable areas to "get in the faces" of people who don't believe that the president walks on water and need a stern talking to if they want to avoid getting beaten by Black Panther poll-watchers on election day.
The "Truth Team" is focusing on three major areas: AttackWatch.com will defend against false attacks and wild rumors like "Obama just submitted a budget so out-of-whack that every family in America now owes $70,000 more to the government than they did when he was elected."
The "Truth Team's" KeepingGOPHonest.com branch will make sure that voters know the real facts about GOP candidates' records, including the exact number of wheelchair-bound Medicare recipients who have been pushed over cliffs by laughing Republicans. They're also pretty sure that Rick Santorum burns witches.
The third "Truth Team" group is KeepingHisWord.com, which will make sure everyone knows that Obama has lived up to all of his campaign promises, including balancing the budget, restoring the economy and job market, creating the greatest sense of bipartisanship in political history, completely ending racism, and raising "transparency" to new heights by sharing all of the inner workings of major operations like "Fast & Furious" (as well as all of his college, medical, and travel records).
Of course, the "Truth Teams" won't be the ONLY way for voters to get the 100% pure, unvarnished truth about important political matters. For instance, they can get the straight poop from MediaMatters.org - a completely nonpartisan organization (so nonpartisan that they even have tax-exempt status, unlike you) which analyses the news for bias, then sets the record straight. Of course, it's recently been discovered that Media Matters is working directly (and until now, secretly) with the Whitehouse, created a plan to destroy Fox News through well-funded attacks, and essentially makes up crap which they hand off to NBC, MSNBC, and many liberal newspapers which report their BS as fact.
But how could the Whitehouse or the people who trusted Media Matters know that they were fakers and liars? After all, even well-respected liberal websites like Obama Myth Busters have been accused of being decoys planted by devious conservatives.
It all gets so confusing sometime...so thank goodness we now have two million members of the "Truth Team" to pound on our doors, call our phones, and otherwise try to distract us from paying attention to what is really going on as Barack Obama tries to destroy our families, our economy, our future, and our nation.
And that, team, is the real truth.
Hint: To get on the Truth Team, any of the answers is right except "A."
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