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Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Info Post


Now that it's clear that the United States has no Commander-in-Chief (owing to the more pressing need for him to serve as Campaign Fundraiser-in-Chief), America's enemies are looking forward to really enjoying the next 14 months.

The Palestinians have already decided that Barack Obama has abandoned Israel, which is why they feel comfortable in making their case to the U.N. that they should be given their own state and, by the way, a wink-wink nudge-nudge on wiping Israel off the map. This despite Obama's wise counsel that the Palestinians should just try wearing the other side's shoes, so that they "know how it feels to be a janitor. Oops...jew."

Meanwhile, Iran's Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, after visiting the U.N., trashing the United States, and getting no significant pushback from the president (who was attending critical fundraisers), has decided to up the ante a bit by threatening to send warships to our Atlantic coast.


Clearly, this is a threat that Barack Obama does not take lightly...which is why he's moved his increasingly desperate fundraising dinners to the Pacific coast, seeking not only safety, but a little Hollywood mojo to add to his floundering campaign. Unfortunately, there don't seem to be that many celebrities who are eager to cough up the usual $38,500 per plate for leftovers with the president, which is why to guarantee "sellout" crowds (in several senses), access to the president is now available at the Unhappy Meal price of just $250.

Obama blames his declining ability to raise funds on the inconvenient need to occasionally be in Washington, though he's doing his best to avoid any actual decision making, leadership, or defense of our allies or borders until after the 2012 elections.


And until then, well, quit your complainin', grumblin', and cryin'. It's just going to be Iran's navy with (possibly) short-range nuclear missiles floating off the coasts of Washington DC and New York. What's the worst that could happen...?
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