Ah, Labor Day! A day of cookouts, cold beers, and reminiscing about the good old days when there used to be jobs. Technically, Labor Day celebrates the right of workers to organize. And thanks to the Community Organizer in Chief, they're more organized than ever before...in nice straight lines, down at the Unemployment Office.
On Friday, the country learned that Barack Obama's multiple, hyper-expensive jobs programs have created an economy in which there were no new jobs whatsoever in the month of August. Which is why, after an unscheduled emergency vacation at Camp David, the president will be addressing the nation this coming Thursday as part of the NFL's pre-game warmup festivities, and announce his new and improved plans to kill the few remaining jobs.
It is widely rumored that a key component of the president's plan will be the extension of jobless benefits, owing to his steadfast belief that paying people not to work creates jobs. By that same logic, we're pretty sure that the president also believes that abstinence creates babies. It would also seem to square with his baffling philosophy that he can "lead from behind."
But just for today, let's forget all that. Let's all enjoy a day off from work (whether that's a change in your schedule or not) with family and friends.
Because on Thursday, things will surely get worse.
Obama plans to focus on creating jobs in the coffee and doughnut industry.
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In revving up Das Workers for the president, Hoffa said: "We got to keep an eye on the battle that we face: The war on workers. And you see it everywhere, it is the Tea Party. And you know what? They've got a war, they got a war with us and there's only going to be one winner. President Obama, this is your army. We are ready to march. Let's take these sons of bitches out and give America back to an America where we belong." (Sieg heil! Sieg heil! Sieg heil!)
Barack Obama then followed Mr. Hoffa at the microphone...and did not condemn or refute any of the comments above. If anything, he added to the overheated sentiments by saying that he was about to propose high-spending federal plans for rebuilding roads and bridges (yet again), in order to "see if congressional Republicans will put country before party." Great - now Tea Party types are traitorous sons of bitches, right Mr. Words That Heal?
Frankly, we think Barack Obama should start spending a lot less time with people who advocate class warfare and violence.
And Jimmy Hoffa? Maybe he should relax and spend more time with his dad.
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