The Germans seemingly have a word for everything. And in this case, the word is "schadenfreude," which means "overwhelming sympathy for a great man."
We're referring of course, to the tragic maiming of Barack Obama's lower lip...the very same lip which promised us "Hope and Change" and "post-partisan politics," the lip which told us that Obamacare would bring down healthcare costs, the lip which so-recently delivered such inspiring words about our country's "recovery summer," and so much more. And now, in a sad instant, everything has changed.
The president, as we all now know, was bravely showing the world that the threat of nuclear escalation in North Korea wouldn't keep him from playing basketball. Because, as the president himself said back when he could still talk, "if we can't play basketball, then the terrorists - who are probably old white women and little children - have won."
Fortunately, our forefathers planned for just such emergencies and, per the requirements of constitutional succession, Joe Biden's lower lip has been transplanted onto the president's face. Should it be rejected before year's end, Nancy Pelosi's lower lip will be next in line.
This is a hard time for all Americans, but we must somehow try to carry on. Relying, if we must, on the concept of schadenfreude. Because truthfully, we're full of it.
Lower lip, we hardly knew you.
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