Blowing Smoke

Yesterday, the FDA released stomach-churning images of nine new photo warnings which will be required on cigarette packages beginning next year. The pictures show oral cancer, a man blowing smoke out of a tracheotomy hole, a man with a surgical incision running the length of his chest, a dead body in a coffin, and Barack Obama smoking in the Whitehouse.

Okay, actually that last picture exists, but is being suppressed along with the Osama bin Laden death photos. But all of the others will be appearing soon in their full-color gory glory. Because the government really, really, really wants people to stop smoking, right?

Wrong. The government wants it to seem like they're against smoking when actually they're full partners in the whole death-dealing business.

After all, the FDA could simply outlaw cigarettes the same way they outlaw various food additives, narcotics, and other substances...but then they'd be cutting off the most addictive of all drugs: tax money. In 2009, the Feds collected $8.5 billion in taxes from smokers, and the states picked up another $15.7 billion.

And there's one other huge way that coughers benefit government coffers: by dying. With insufficient funds to pay for Medicare and Social Security, it's practically money in the bank for the federal government every time someone kicks the bucket without collecting full benefits.

So while Hope n' Change has nothing against the gory new warning labels on cigarettes, we think it's important to remind people of this unfiltered truth: believing everything the government tells you can be hazardous to your health.

Here are some of the new warnings for smokers like Barack Obama,

who couldn't understand the old ones.
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