To fight an epidemic of childhood obesity, Barack Obama has just created a federally-funded obesity taskforce and has given first lady Michelle Obama the job of spearheading publicity efforts. To kick things off, she declared that obesity is "a threat to national security," though she presumably feels that Ronald McDonald should be tried in a civilian court rather than being shipped to Guantanamo Bay.
Michelle will help kids by encouraging them to exercise ("Touch your toes like you're bowing to Japanese royalty!"), eat more fruits and vegetables ("A day without arugula is like a day without sunshine!"), and presumably by giving them fashion tips...
BONUS: From the Hope n' Change Gift Shoppe, a tribute to the first lady and the Beatles!
Update 6/4/11
Today's cartoon has been summoned from the archives in recognition of the Obama administration's latest brainstorm to help Americans eat healthy and lose weight: the elimination of the "food pyramid."
And not just any food pyramid...they're eliminating the new, revamped food pyramid which the Government redesigned themselves (at God knows what cost) which featured "colorful vertical stripes representing food groups" with "a stick figure running up the side to note the importance of exercise." The new pyramid was so streamlined and stylized that no one could figure out what it meant, although the bold rainbow design seemed to hint that the Egyptians who built the original pyramids were possibly pioneers in Gay activism.
But NOW the pyramid is gone, replaced by a graphic of (wait for it!)...a plate of food, divided into rainbow quadrants. Unfortunately, since many people are apparently still too dim to understand how a "balanced meal" works, this suggests that the government will soon require stores to dye all fruits bright red, grains orange, vegetables green, and protein a taste-tempting purple.
And frankly, all of the food should come pre-cut into tiny little bites. If the American people are this stupid, they sure shouldn't be using knives.
What we WERE supposed to eat...what we ARE supposed to eat...and what we actually eat.
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Today's cartoon has been summoned from the archives in recognition of the Obama administration's latest brainstorm to help Americans eat healthy and lose weight: the elimination of the "food pyramid."
And not just any food pyramid...they're eliminating the new, revamped food pyramid which the Government redesigned themselves (at God knows what cost) which featured "colorful vertical stripes representing food groups" with "a stick figure running up the side to note the importance of exercise." The new pyramid was so streamlined and stylized that no one could figure out what it meant, although the bold rainbow design seemed to hint that the Egyptians who built the original pyramids were possibly pioneers in Gay activism.
But NOW the pyramid is gone, replaced by a graphic of (wait for it!)...a plate of food, divided into rainbow quadrants. Unfortunately, since many people are apparently still too dim to understand how a "balanced meal" works, this suggests that the government will soon require stores to dye all fruits bright red, grains orange, vegetables green, and protein a taste-tempting purple.
And frankly, all of the food should come pre-cut into tiny little bites. If the American people are this stupid, they sure shouldn't be using knives.
What we WERE supposed to eat...what we ARE supposed to eat...and what we actually eat.
-
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