Although America's jobless numbers are in the toilet, noted economist and deep-thinker Barack Obama has come forward to explain that it's really a "good news, bad news" situation.
The good news is that fewer people are needed for jobs because America's businesses have become so goshdarn efficient, and are able to accomplish more using fewer employees. The bad news is that many jobs have been taken over by demonic ATM machines, computer kiosks, and other infernal devices that are bent on subjugating all of mankind to their evil robotic plans.
The president, who unfortunately was not on drugs when offering this bizarre opinion, is said to have already created a short list of names from the Amish community from which he will choose the "De-Industrialization Czar" who will return our country to full, if not exactly efficient, employment.
Presumably, barn raisings will become as popular as tax raising in Washington DC, the teleprompter will be replaced by a homeless guy who already knows how to hold a sign filled with unintelligible nonsense, and the vast fleet of politicians' limousines will be replaced by teams of green-friendly, biofueled horses.
Frankly, with the amount of manure already being produced by this administration, we can't imagine anyone will notice a little more.
Come the Industrial Derevolution, we'll be seeing a lot of this.
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